The psychology of people here, in so many ways, is both familiar and foreign all at once. Via conversations with people at bars, my students/coworkers and my delightfully kooky roommates I’ve been able to compile my first list of good/bad generalizations about Colombians as a foreigner living in Colombia-which, I’ve come to accept as part of the acceptance process…explanations aside, here’s the gold:
For one, Colombians are (generally) horrible with time management. How bad? When I lived in Cambodia and worked at a health center, it was nothing for someone to show up 30, sometimes even 45 minutes late. Here students will show up an hour late to a two hour class…after being RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. The excuse for this? “I was in the bathroom” (facepalm). Luckily, They’re actually required to show up to my class, thus I made it a point to lock the door about 20 min after class starts; any earlier and I’d never have more than half of my apprentices present. After a few days of watching the students who do show up laugh at those outside of the door as they sweat in the heat, we managed to shift a few paradigms. My current mission is getting my students to actually get straight to work, instead of spending the first 10 minutes discussing mellifluous bullshit, which brings me to my next point.
Colombians are generally less productive, and don’t really seem to have any qualms with that. If you do any research on Medellin, you’ll see that it has officially been named THE most innovative city in the world. Like, the whole thing. This is because Medellin is located in a department known as Antioquia, birthplace of an inland culture more commonly known as ‘Paisa’. Ask anyone here in Santander about ‘Paisas’ and they will usually describe them with the same admiration that Hitler used to describe the ubermensch. They will tell you that they are generally more industrious, more intelligent and most importantly, more stylish and better looking. Outside of Medellin and Bogota, that whole industriousness trait tends to sort of dissipate into thin air. I’m not in Medellin, nor am I anywhere near Antioquia. I am in Santander (which is sorta like Antioquia with training wheels). Though women are beautiful here (this is Colombia after all), industriousness is not a trait people tend to have in this region. In fact folks tend to govern themselves in a manner which leads you to question whether or not they ever have anything important to do. Seriously, if people here walked any slower, they’d be moving backwards and in my opinion, when an Italian tells you that you move at a snails pace, you may want to evaluate some things. This is not to say that people here don’t work at all, it’s just in your best interest to not expect the general populace to “get right to it”.
Another cultural dimension that I’m learning to adapt to, is the fact that everything is so regional; if you thought seasons didn’t exist in Florida, you’d think Colombia is like a twilight zone. Altitude determines just about everything from food, to music to language, to appearance and even weather. For example, Bucaramanga is on a plateau in between two mountains at an altitude of roughly 3,000 ft. I say ‘roughly’ because from the lowest point in the greater metropolitan area this altitude varies by almost 800ft from the small valley in Giron where I work, to the foothills of the Mountains behind my neighborhood. This means that on any given work day I go between SoCal temperatures to SoFla ones, and I’m still technically in the same city. Travel another 100 miles or so in either direction to Manizales (to the west) or Pamplona (near the Venezuelan border), and you’ll see snow-capped mountains and will almost always need a jacket. How does this add up to personalities? For one, the mountains have kept and still keep things compartmentalized-the animals don’t even migrate and cultural customs are pretty endemic. You can identify someone’s birthplace by their style of dress, their preferred foods (in Santander if there’s no meat/rice/soup, it ain’t a meal), their musical variety (here it’s vallenato/kumbia) and their slang. The fact that there is no ‘standard’ American anything that wasn’t brought over by immigrants is confusing and perhaps even a bit sad to many old school Santandereanos.
As far as cuisine goes, the abundant plains and fertile soil make cattle farming a pretty solid industry in this region, and people take their dairy preeeetty seriously. Long and short: Milk. and. cheese. make. everything. better.
Even if its sushi.
Even if it’s fruit.
Even if it’s ice cream.
Whatever it is, Bumangueses (people from Bucaramanga) will find a way to put cheese on or in it. Whoever sells laxatives here must have to print their own money because honestly I get constipated just looking at the food here. Another less than appealing discovery were the (lack of) spices. People in this region don’t use many of them. As for the stereotype of the spicy Latin food (and the spicier Latin women), if you ain’t on the coast, the flavors…ALL the flavors, will be remarkably mild.
Spices aside, Santander has managed to show me that even I can get sick of eating meat, which is akin to a dog getting tired of urinating on fire-hydrants (anything is possible I guess). One thing that never ceases to amaze me is the Santanderean ability to put chicken in just about everything that we usually reserve for other meats. I remember making the mistake of asking for ‘Lasagna’ at a Trattoria here, only to find chicken and pork mixed in with my ground beef. Hamburgers, hot-dogs, not even baked goods are safe. I’m sure there’s some type of half-man, half-chicken hybrid walking around here somewhere.
In addition to food, one thing that is different is how Colombians relate to race. Due to Colombia’s involvement with the transatlantic slave trade, there is a sizeable black population here, unfortunately, this population is more or less relegated to the coast and I’m usually asked if I’m from either the Caribbean or the Pacific (Colombia has beaches on both coasts). Because my Floridian Spanish dialect is heavily influenced by Cubanos and Boricuas, people assume I’m from Barranquilla, Cartagena or San Andres. When I’m in the slums, young children or really uneducated old people may ask me if I’m African but not nearly as much as in Cambodia, where the concept of a black American is generally unheard of. What does this mean for inland culture? Well, remember that American stereotype about Latinos and dancing? Turns out the African influence may have helped with that a bit, thus if it ain’t Paisa or Costeno (coastal), it’s probably not going to be that impressive. I’ve actually noted that while many people here are good at salsa moves, they aren’t actually good at doing said moves on beat with the music, which basically defeats the purpose of dancing. In more expensive parts of the city I get a few more stares than usual from older people, which are completely different from the stares and occasional cat calls (yes, women do that here too) I get from the younger ones. Regarding liveliness, there seems to be a direct correlation between being able to find a great party spot and the likelihood of you getting robbed and/or kidnapped. Bucaramanga, being among the more laid back cities, has perhaps the most tame nightlife I’ve ever seen, and I live near an entire strip of bars and clubs. So tame in fact, that I have to keep myself from laughing when people tell me that certain places in this city aren’t “safe”. One benefit to this tameness: unlike Asia, I’ve yet to be barred from any hotels, have any bricks thrown at me or have someone start a fight with me at a nightclub, granted, there’s ample time for possibilities.
On a more positive note, I love the emphasis on family values that everyone in this country seems to have. At all costs, you keep a family together and parental involvement is generally of upmost importance, regardless of the relationship between the mother and father. One factor that simultaneously makes this country awesome while directly contributing to it’s general lack of productivity is the siesta. At noon, most businesses close for two hours and everyone gets to go home and eat lunch with their families, which is great. Street food is pretty ubiquitous…until you get to the more expensive areas or estratas altas (upper levels). In these suburban districts, anything common and non-expensive disappears; apparently if you choose to pay more for a house, you clearly must want to pay $6-7 for a burger. Classes are pretty defined here, and social strata are numbered from 1-6, 1 being the least educated and 6 being the most pompous. Much like the neighborhood you live in in LA, your strata pretty much determines everything: which restaurants are around you, your access to public transportation, education and healthcare and even whether or not you’ll be within walking distance of a bookstore. Speaking of which, reading is more of a status symbol than it is a common practice. Books are a luxury than not all can afford, and even if they could, they’d much rather prefer to watch tv, because, tv. What’s stranger, is that you cannot read books from the shelf in the bookstore, because they come in plastic wrapping, which means that unless you know which book you want before you get there, the prospect of flipping through a few pages is a lost cause. Oh and there’s also one public library for the entire greater metropolitan area-two if you include the bilingual library in a city where maybe 2% of the people speak a language that isn’t Spanish, which leads one to believe that reading simply isn’t fundamental here. The majority of the exchange of information comes largely via wayside learning. By and large, Colombia, along with many places in Latin America, has a long history of Amerindian influence resulting in a semi-indigenous modern culture. ‘el pueblo’ or the village, rules. on a positive note, this structure allows for very strong concepts of knowledge of self and a great deal of cultural pride. Almost anyone here over the age of 13 can tell you the history of their region and how many things came to be. This is also what allows gossip to spread so quickly and how you can learn almost anything about anyone without actually having to speak to them directly. The folks at Google and Facebook could learn a thing or two.
Above all, the most unexpected cultural dimension is the obsession with (not) slamming doors. Want to see a taxi driver wince or flat out snap? Slam their door too hard, too many times. They will follow you home and maim you at your doorstep. This is particularly difficult for me because their cars are the size of our toys and you can slam a door using more than three fingers to close it. Don’t be surprised if you find the word ‘Suave’ (smooth) written on door handles. If you’re not close enough to a taxi cab because you’re say, riding the bus, then you can bank on someone getting offended when you don’t reply to their hello or when you don’t at least offer the bus performers pocket change. Yes, there are bus performers. Some play the guitar, some tell jokes and some just come up with really witty sales pitches for why you should buy their #2 pencils and smiley face stickers-I can’t make this stuff up.
All in all, my experiences here have been overwhelmingly positive, regardless of my initial impressions of how things are(n’t) done. I have a great group of friends and associates that make most of my stay quite pleasurable. Ultimately, the locals are usually friendly and most will stop what they’re doing to help you out-this goes double if you’re a foreigner, as they’re well aware of their reputation abroad and are pretty eager to dispel it. I’ve come to find that any need or want becomes someones priority until the manner is resolved. So long as one is respectful, patient and appreciative the answer is almost always ‘a la orden’ (as you wish).
Thoughts of a Leo 