So, a week or so ago I was doing my usual after training session ritual. In other words, having drinks at some random spot with a few Peace Corps friends when the standard conversation of comparing/contrasting lifestyles in different regions of the U.S. came up (because well, that’s just what broke, hungry and homesick foreign nationals do apparently) and the topic somehow pinpointed specifically to tailgating in the South East vs. tailgating in the Midwest. The major point of this discussion manifested itself when one friend (a guy) mentioned that in the Midwest, women generally wear pretty comfortable clothes to tailgate (b-ball shorts, t-shirts etc.) whereas women in the South tend to be a bit more dressed to the 9’s (actual outfits, accessories and usually some degree of make up)-a simple observation. Which was met with this:
“You guys must have been in shock when you met us then-like OMG REAL women”
This statement confused me a bit, because I’m not exactly sure what point she was trying to make. Is it that women who like to dress up for social functions somehow lack authenticity, and that she (and apparently many other women from her region) don’t, make them somehow more real? I was unaware that womanhood was solely defined by the presence or absence of high-heeled shoes or wedges, or whether or not a woman wants to get married OR (as much as my inner southerner cringes at this idea) whether or not a woman knows how to cook. For all intents and purposes by Cambodian standards most of our Peace Corps Volunteers wouldn’t be considered “real women”. They are all in their twenties and don’t have children, most of them don’t plan on getting married any time soon and the idea of doing anything remotely domestic is either thought of as a joke or an insult. By no means does this make them any less feminine, though by this country’s (and to some minimal degree, mine) concept(s) of marriage it does make them less desirable as potential mates. Does this mean that they would suck at it? Not at all, just means they aren’t meant for me to date, and more importantly, that someones candidacy for betrothal is no tell-all of their character. Many of the women I have met here (Peace Corps or otherwise) I have come to be quite fond of, and have the utmost respect for. Ultimately, I find the idea that womanhood or any state of being for that matter being reduced to a single thought, idea or behavior is quite laughable. In my undergraduate years I realized that my concept of womanhood is not something that all individuals with a vagina should conform to simply because that’s what I’m accustomed to, namely due to my mother and many of the other extraordinary ladies I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. With that thought in mind, maybe its time that other women I know come to this same realization.
Thoughts of a Leo 